RdB: 1919 - 1996

Today is the 5th anniversary of the passing of my Grandpa, Ray deBeurs.

My Grandpa and my Dad are the two best people I have ever met in my life. Grandpa taught me so many things, had such an impact on me. It hurts me so bad that Grandpa is gone, but I'm so grateful that my Dad is still around. I don't tell him that enough.

One Headlight: This song was on the radio on the way to Grandpa's funeral. That song, and that day will be with me always. One of Grandpa's pet peeves were people who drove cars with only one headlight. :-) He called them "one-eyed charlies". I couldn't help but laugh and cry (outside, in the -30C weather, which means tears freeze on your face instantly) when I heard that song that day.

So long ago, I don't remember when
That's when they say I lost my only friend
Well they said she died easy of a broken heart disease
As I listened through the cemetery trees

I seen the sun comin' up at the funeral at dawn
The long broken arm of human law
Now it always seemed such a waste
She always had a pretty face
So I wondered how she hung around this place

Hey, come on try a little
Nothing is forever
There's got to be something better than
In the middle
But me & Cinderella
We put it all together
We can drive it home
With one headlight

She said it's cold
It feels like Independence Day
And I can't break away from this parade
But there's got to be an opening
Somewhere here in front of me
Through this maze of ugliness and greed
And I seen the sun up ahead
At the county line bridge
Sayin' all there's good and nothingness is dead
We'll run until she's out of breath
She ran until there's nothin' left
She hit the end-it's just her window ledge


Well this place is old
It feels just like a beat up truck
I turn the engine, but the engine doesn't turn
Well it smells of cheap wine & cigarettes
This place is always such a mess
Sometimes I think I'd like to watch it burn
I'm so alone, and I feel just like somebody else
Man, I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same
But somewhere here in between the city walls of dyin' dreams
I think her death it must be killin' me


Written on December 19, 2001